A Curious Concoction

CSR

2010-08-14T21:36:00.002+05:30

I've never quite understood why business organizations should double up as charity organizations by indulging in CSR. In my opinion, CSR is nothing but herd mentality or PR exercise (depending on your POV) at best and i-have-no-clue-what-shit-it-is at worst. Recently, I stumbled upon an article which kinda aligns with my POV. Here it is: http://gurcharandas.blogspot.com/2010/02/remember-money-doesnt-belong-to-you.html

Anniversary speech

2010-07-01T21:14:00.006+05:30

Here I'm, a little inebriated, and in the mood for some speed-blogging (which is an euphemism for getting away with writing a paragraph of two hundred odd words instead of a painstaking post). Just completed a full year at IIM Indore. Learnt a lot, forgot some. However, there is no doubt in my mind about the most important learning of all. Which is that oft repeated cliche, "Follow your heart". I mean, kudos to whoever came up with this one liner. If ever someone hit a nail on the head, it was this guy.It is so, so, so, SO correct! Just follow the fucking heart and you'll be a winner in life. The red blooded pump somehow knows what is good for you and what is not. Ignore that idiotic whitish mass of gooey substance you have got holed up inside that cranium. It is as useless as the CPM government in West Bengal.

Another thing I've observed about myself recently is that I've become oh so oblivious of the people around me. I'm not bothered about what people around me think about me. I give a rat's ass about a guy who's in a soup, a kind of soup in which I can offer some unsolicited but useful help. I just don't fuckin care, what the hell.

Of course, things are not as morbid as the above paragraphs suggest. Actually, I feel better off today than I did a year earlier. But, you know, I had to write a post on something. I just did that.

Random Musings III

2010-04-06T23:38:00.005+05:30

2nd January, this year. Delhi airport. I find seven people standing in a queue in front of the stall from where you can book 'prepaid taxis'. I position myself as the eighth guy, put down both of my suitcases, rest my shoulder bag on top of one of them and try and make sense of the controlled commotion around me. Within a couple of minutes, I find myself leading the queue. A middle aged man with a 'tere naam' hairstyle and mouth filled with paan masala spews 'Kaha jaana hai ?' I tell him my destination and he furiously types something on the keypad in front of him, as if he has a flight to catch in five minutes. Taxi booked; service time was fifteen seconds give or take a second or two.

Rewind seven days. Dumdum airport, eleven at night. Approximately thirty people are waiting for their turn to prepay and book a taxi. After half an hour, with just five people in front of me, I have a clearer view of the stall and can actually make out what is going on inside. One slender and malnourished person with a thin moustache is slouched on a blue revolving chair, taking in the cool air apewed by the air conditioner. With a smirk on his face, he is making a point to a person who is standing with his back to us. A third guy, looking like a typical labour union leader, with thick glasses and a disgusted expression on his face, is multitasking between casting a disparaging look on the customer in front of him, fiddling on a keyboard, throwing a few points of his own in the intellectually stimulating discussion currently underway about four feet away from him, and forwarding a slip towards the customer using his index and middle fingers. The person standing just in front of me, elbow resting on the handlebar of a trolley on which five big suitcases have been heaved on, rattles off impatiently, 'Dada, ektu taratari korun na!' (Mister, can you speed things up a bit!). All three persons inside the stall stop whatever they are doing. Labour union leader looks up, slowly measures the protestor from top to bottom, and hisses, 'Oto tara thakle ekhan theke chole jaan.' (If you are in such a hurry, get out of here). Kolkata.

iCanvas

2009-08-15T01:01:00.002+05:30

A couple of articles written by me for iCanvas are here.

Do take a look around the site, the overall quality (of whatever your eyes see) is very good :)

“Ethics in Business” seminar

2009-08-09T13:36:00.003+05:30

8 and 9 August 2009 saw IIM-Indore host the case study based “Ethics in Business” seminar conducted by Mr. Achal Raghavan, a Bangalore-based strategy and business excellence consultant and an alumnus of IIT-Madras and IIM-Ahmedabad.

“This interactive seminar would sensitize the attendee students and future managers to ethical issues and develop an ethical perspective”, is how a senior faculty member of the institute summed up the seminar. Indeed, several students remarked that the seminar opened up a completely different line of thinking regarding analysis of business issues and that they were handed an additional tool for all the case analyses they were going to perform in future.

The fourth session began with an overview of the relationship between supplier and consumer in the manufacturing industry and discussion of three theories – the contractual theory, the due care theory and the social cost theory. The case for the session was “The Ford/Firestone debacle”. It elucidated how the two closely related companies ended their relationship over an acrimonious debate on who was to blame for the accidents and deaths that took place when tires, supplied by Firestone for use in the Ford Explorer SUV, malfunctioned. Mr. Raghavan, thereafter, conducted a structured discussion and analysis through the application of the three theories to this case. He skillfully engaged the audience by embellishing his insights with occasional anecdotes. The exhaustive analysis ended with the general consensus that the moral responsibility for the deaths lay with both Ford and Firestone and the reasons behind the same were enumerated.

The case analyzed in the fifth session was “Playing Monopoly: Microsoft”. The three theories were applied to the business practices of Microsoft and a few interesting insights were derived out of the ensuing discussion. Application of the due care theory suggested that Microsoft seemed to have played “big daddy” and affected consumer choice on the pretext of taking the onus of responsibility for assisting the consumer in understanding a product. Audience members with IT work-experience enriched the discussion.

The attending students requested Mr. Raghavan to conduct more such seminars at IIM-Indore in future. Mr. Raghavan eagerly and gracefully gave his assent to the same.

Journey to Excellence

2009-07-21T15:29:00.000+05:30

On 30 June 2009, Mr. Gopal Subramanium, who has recently taken over as the Solicitor General of India, delivered a lecture at IIM-Indore. The impeccably dressed Mr. Subramanium displayed his high quality oratory skills while voicing his opinion on several issues. Using clear, concise language he analyzed several matters containing legal components. It would be perfectly right to say that he held the audience spellbound for two hours.

Mr. Subramanium was extremely forthright and highly critical. To such an extent that he didn’t even spare people from his own profession. He had no qualms about speaking of corruption prevalent in the legal system. He narrated a few examples which illustrated the hypocrisy that has partially engulfed civil servants, lawyers and judges, the fallout of which, obviously, has been a loss of faith of the common man in the system. I think that speaks volumes of the courage and attitude of the man. He has an integrity as hard and unyielding as granite. He is a person who wouldn’t back down but stand up and fight against wrongdoing. He delivers justice. He is in a position of power but he is not afraid to relinquish it in the pursuit of the truth.

Highly learned people are often criticized for being too idealistic and proposing solutions which look good on paper but are impractical. However, Mr. Subramanium’s solutions for the burning issues of today were refreshingly practical, realistic and based on sound logic. As an answer to a question put forward by a participant, he opined that capital punishment shouldn’t be done away with. However, a convict should be sentenced to death only after exercising extreme caution and after undertaking a lot of deliberations. I think it is an absolute necessity to cleanse the world of the remorseless terrorists who mercilessly massacre innocent human beings. I appreciate that forgiveness is an excellent attribute to possess, but when confronted with an evil of the scale of that of the terrorists, I think it wouldn’t harm anyone if we take a few stern steps.

Mr. Subramanium blamed the ubiquitous ‘chalta hai’ attitude as the root cause of several problems that plague the country. We Indians in general tend to take things quite lightly. There are times when an individual has to take things seriously and act accordingly with responsibility. There are other times when the same individual may not necessarily be in a switched-on mode but may maintain a casual demeanor and hence avoid stress. The average Indian seems to lose focus often. He longs to be in a casual mode when a particular task requires serious action. The result of this is that when time to relax comes, he can’t clear his mind completely and hence he can’t enjoy himself. He suffers both ways.

Perhaps the illuminating lecture reached a crescendo when Mr. Subramanium, in his own words, ‘tried to make us uncomfortable’. Thereafter, he went on to present a brilliant argument. At the end of it, uncomfortable we were. An IIM graduate is reputedly a dab hand at formulating brilliant strategies and implementing them to earn billions for his organization. Obviously, the organization pampers him with fat paychecks and opportunity to work at exotic locations. He can afford an extravagant lifestyle and be the subject of envy for his peers. That explains the present rush in the student community to get an IIM degree. But what about turning our eyes away from the glitz and glamour for a moment and focusing on some of the behemoth of problems our country is facing. After all, India is a third world country. Millions of people still live below the poverty line. They still can’t afford to feed themselves enough to sustain their livelihood. Not to mention the absence of a roof above their heads. What about initiating steps to help the Vidarbha farmer who has been crippled by debt and devastated by drought ? Surely, an IIM graduate can develop a strategy to increase the farmer’s income by, say, a meagre four figure yearly amount. That would enable the poor man to buy his family two square meals per day. Now, it is a fact that very few IIM graduates actually choose this path. One of the reasons could be that increasing the salary of the poorest of the poor by a yearly three or four figure amount is more difficult than increasing the yearly revenue of a billion dollar company by an eight digit amount. But if that is the case, shouldn’t the world beaters of the world renowned IIMs concentrate more on coming up with solutions of the problem that seems more challenging ? The fact that they don’t may give rise to suspicion that their outward hubris masks a feeling of escapism they have deep down inside. Maybe it is this escapism that forces them to choose plum offers from foreign companies so that they can escape from the country’s myriad complex problems which they are incapable of handling. For a person who was about to embark on a blessed journey at the prestigious IIM-I, these were disturbing questions. These questions made me uncomfortable. Mr. Subramanium exhorted us not to run away from these questions, but to confront them and think deeply about them. I urge the reader to do the same.

Planet-I

2009-07-16T01:13:00.001+05:30

I.

The preceeding paragraph/ sentence/ word/ letter (ah, let’s call it entity-I for clarity’s sake) may be any one of – well – paragraph, sentence, word and letter. Regarding its exact identity, however, opinion would vary. It would be difficult to reach a consensus because some people, who claim to see things others don’t see, would claim to have seen a paragraph. As if to see a few tiny, white dots on a clear night sky is to see the universe. Some people would be a bit conservative and opine that entity-I is nothing but a complete sentence which is logically structured and making a point. There would be people who would be confused as to whether entity-I is a word or a letter. A particularly knowledgeable and affable class of people, going around by the appellation ‘cynics’, would perform their usual tsk-tsk ritual and putting on an all-knowing expression on their faces would state that entity-I is nothing but a gimmick (marketing, probably ? ). Communists would sermonize that entity-I is a threat to egalitarian society and that it is a nefarious product of the imperialist Americans (and six months later would admit that adopting this line of thinking was a historical blunder). Some other group of people with vested interests may put forward some other point-of-view.

Well, there cannot be a debate on the fact that the preceeding paragraph is just that – a paragraph. And the paragraph makes a clear, singular point – that there exist multiple POVs on a single issue. In other words, an issue is like a kaleidoscope; what you see depends on the manner in which you hold the thing and different persons hold it in different ways. How interesting ! Without any more digressing from the real issue, let me now propose a groundbreaking idea that would alter the rotational axis (if any) of the earth and would force Stephen Hawking to admit that a black hole is nothing but a much more mundane and a much more desirable thing. The idea here is that – hold your breath – the entity-I better known as Planet-I can have numerous interpretations. As I’m no creative writer, I’m unfortunate enough to have only one interpretation up my sleeve. Which is the following :

If you observe the word “PLANET” very closely, with the aid of a magnifier perhaps, you will not find it mentally taxing to discover that the word has resulted from a merger of two different words “PLAN” and “NET” to create synergy. Notice that both “PLAN” and “NET” are managerial words. The glorious history of humankind would dutifully attest to the fact that managers are great planners. If you are aware of the prevailing great recession that was planned and executed to perfection, you shouldn’t have a second thought. “NET” is perhaps the most used word in managerial jargon. If you aren’t networking, you aren’t managing a damn thing. And if you cannot use the internet, shame on you, you are as useless as the times when there used to be no internet, because you cannot do, among other things some of which are noble and some of which are not-so-noble, social networking. Probably that is the reason why someone has incorporated the word “LAN” in the word “PLAN”.

Coming back to my point – how does this exquisite merger create synergy ? Well, let me explain. Sit on a chair, in a comfortable posture, close your eyes and cleanse your mind of all the dirty thoughts (you must have had a few). Relax your breathing. Focus on an imaginary point somewhere. Now think of the word PLANET. What do you see ? A neat, polished, innocuous, rounded object. Aka, a “GLOBE”. Yes, yes, now you’ve got it (I almost fell from my chair in unbridled joy). You are now able to visualise what is by far the single most important concept that forms the central tenet, the basic premise and what not of the field of management. See, you started with two little insignificant managerial words, and here you are. If that is not synergy, I don’t know what is.

It is a no-brainer that with so many managerial aspects this PLANET must be some kind of a management institute. But, in recent times, so many management institutes have sprouted all over India. Which management school does this PLANET-I refer to ? We need some specific information. That is where I, and let us have no argument on the fact that it is just a letter and nothing else, comes into the picture.

The extremely egotistic and megalomaniac I is one of the most common letters of the English alphabet. And no wonder. Everyone wants to talk about themselves and I am no exception. If you are already confused between the ‘I’ of PLANET-I and the ‘I’ which means, well, I, don’t be. The world around us is confusing. It is evil. And it is egotistical. (for cynics) Ego is the fountainhead of human progress (basically it is a handy thing to possess) as spake the great philosopher Ayn Rand in her legendary book aptly entitled “The Fountainhead” which by the way everybody reads and nobody understands (much like yours truly). Maybe this is precisely the interpretation; that the I of Planet-I signifies progress. Looked at in another way, the I symbolises realisation of the true potential of a human being. Shove in two I’s, and grander things are envisaged. All of this happens via M for management. No wonder PLANET-I is better known to the world as an IIM.

PLANET-I is a cute little nickname lovingly bestowed upon IIM-Indore. It is one of the best business schools in India. Situated some distance away from the dusty, developing city of Indore, PLANET-I is an enigmatic planet, completely different from what lies around it. The breathtaking beauty of the campus and the erudition of the professors notwithstanding, what gives PLANET-I its true identity is the community of the inhabitants. I, a proud inhabitant of the planet, humbly put forward this write-up by starting and ending with the letter ‘I’.

Random musings II

2009-06-18T01:37:00.001+05:30

As the nightmare moves toward its climax, you somehow escape from it and jolt yourself out of sleep. It was meant to be a harmless, lazy evening slumber. Hence you are astonished to find a viscous sadness gradually flowing down your throat and gnawing at your heart. You are not sure what is happening and you are beginning to have a vague idea. Several times you have heard the cliche "There's a hole in your soul". You can feel it now.

The darkness inside the room seamlessly merges with the darkness outside. Must be the sinister night sky, you say to yourself, which has sucked out all the light. Modus operandi of a black hole. As you blink a few times, the haziness subsides. Through the window, as your glance sweeps from left to right, you see the blackness slowly giving way to a cloud, red with embarrassment and pregnant with rain. Suddenly you realise what is wrong with you. Your heart has always wanted 'it'. It needs 'it', it knows it can never get 'it' and has learnt to live without 'it'. Nevertheless, in a typical childish manner, the heart sometimes cries out for 'it', knowing fully well that it is an exercise in futility. The heart can't help it, it hasn't got a brain.

You become aware of your surroundings. You remember the things you have got to do. This resuscitation has been expedited by the presence of a few faces around you. These are faces suspended in thin air. These faces have no bodies, no identity and no expression. These faces mirror the smoke that fills their brains. Their brains have been eaten away by parasites long ago and hence are dysfunctional. The faces are hazy, confused and nervous. They are not here to help you. They are here because society tells them it's a bad thing not to do the same. You feel a negatively charged cloud advancing toward you, slowly but surely, with the sole motive of engulfing your entire brain and unleashing the parasites that would like to feed on your vibrant brain cells. You know what's wrong with these faces. These faces, once upon a time, were identified by the bodies attached to them. Just like you are now. They were meant to give 'it' to you. Which they didn't. The negatively charged cloud is to blame.

You look around you. You see three receptacles. They have engulfed all your belongings. You're astonished at your meagre networth. You feel small, you feel you're being exiled for good. You feel terribly lonely. You want to cry out loud, but the cry just wont come out. You don't know what lies ahead, the only entity with which you can establish a one-to-one connection is darkness. The darkness which seems to engulf you, slowly but surely. As you stand, incapacitated, you realize what is 'it'. Love.

The Autowallah

2009-06-10T01:13:00.002+05:30

You know how autowallahs in Kolkata are like. The owners of these overpriced public transport vehicles called autorickshaws are always in a hurry, swearing at passengers, at pedestrians if they can and of course at passing vehicles. They have a disgusting habit of charging a premium from a hapless passenger who doesn't know the exact fare from point A to point B ( to such an extent that to cut my losses, whenever I ply a route the fare of which I don't know or don't remember, on disembarking I simply hand the swine a ten/twenty rupee note and put on a "I'm a busy guy, just hand me the change, sucker, and make it fast" expression ). Abide by the traffic rules ? Thank you, but they are autowallahs, you know.....

Yesterday, en route to the local bus stop, I spotted an auto. The driver ( autowallah ) was about my age, about six feet tall, skinny. He was smoking a bidi ( poor man's fag, probably causes cancer but Ramadoss knows better ). I enquired whether he would ( be kind enough to ) steer his stuttering and spluttering automatic rickshaw, with me inside of course, all the way to Jadavpur.

Subsequently, this is what I heard:
Dekhun dada, ami to bhabchilam South City obdhi jabo, aapni 8B jaaben jokhon boshun, dekhi ar kono passenger pai kina.
( See, mister, I was planning to go only as far as the south city mall; since you're going to 8B let me see if I can get any more passengers )
After this un-autowallah like reply, he started shouting/ screaming "Et-Bee Jawobpur Thana Et-Bee Et-Bee !"

Later on, somewhere in the middle of the stretch that is the Prince Anwar Shah road, an old man made a Congress-like hand gesture to stop the auto and mumbled his destination. Unable to comprehend, the autowallah spoke to the septuagenarian, "Ki bollen thik shunte pelam na. Ami 8B obdhi jacchi. Aapni ki jaaben ? "
(Couldn't hear you properly. I'm going to 8B but not beyond that. Would you like to hop in ? )

Wow. I mean, I didn't believe that there existed in Kolkata a well-mannered autowallah, until then. Autowallahs never tweak their predetermined route, not at the request of a passenger anyway. They are advocates of the "my-way-or-the-high-way" policy. Have a polite conversation with a passenger ? Impossible. Be a little considerate toward an old man whose agility has been somewhat eroded by age ? No chance in hell, get real. This young autowallah was, therefore, a breath of fresh air, a delight. He was a paragon for his collegues. He was, quite obviously, testimony to the fact that there's no particular cause and necessity for the high-handed behaviour meted out by his fellow-men. In a nutshell, a very rare commodity indeed.

Nothing in particular

2009-05-25T19:31:00.002+05:30

Ok, this is the most important piece of work that I've done in the last 7 days - I've changed the title and description of this blog from something which was totally arbit (some would say pseudo-intellectual, but I'm not sure what that means) to something which is more meaningful and probably accurate in capturing in a few words the nature of the content of this blog. That tells you a thing explicitly and another thing implicitly. i) This blog is useless, as stated explicitly in the current blog description. ii) I'm totally jobless; this has been said implicitly and if you've spotted it, you're good at critcal reasoning which again implies that you should take CAT or GMAT and become a manager.

Seriously speaking , I'm thinking about creating a blog whose content would be of some value, however small, so that there would be at least someone out there who, after going through the blog, would NOT say "Ewwwww!! That was more disgusting than puke!" Haven't come up with any ideas yet, but you can't say I'm not trying.

Cartoon controversy

2009-02-22T14:57:00.001+05:30

30 September, 2005:
The Danish daily newspaper Jyllands-Posten published twelve cartoons depicting the Islamic prophet Muhammed. Later a number of newspapers around the world too published these cartoons. This subsequently snowballed into a raging controversy and led to widespread anger and resentment throughout the Islamic world. There were demonstrations in countries which are far away from Denmark, viz. India and Pakistan among others.

In London, more than 500 people led by a few radical Islamic extremists marched toward the Danish embassy. They carried banners containing hate messages, exhorted the Muslim community to retaliate and chanted: "Britain, you will pay, 7/7 on its way."

I do not believe that the publishers of the newspaper were unaware of the fact that the cartoons would lead to a conflagration which may result in law and order problems and in the extreme case, jihadi terrorist attacks. Were the actions of the publishers based on the premise of "freedom of speech" or were they just playing mischief to attract attention ? Nobody knows.

Whatever be the motive, there is no doubting that this was clearly a case of taking things too far in the name of freedom of speech. Freedom of speech is one of the tenets of democracy; it gives people the right to speak out, to voice their criticism and protest against any wrongdoing. However, a rigorous definition of the term "freedom of speech" doesn't exist; there are a few gray areas. Which gives rise to a problem: people with malicious intent can exploit the ambiguous aspects to suit their purposes. When that happens, society should take a stand against these elements in a truly democratic fashion. Freedom of speech is not freedom of exploiting/hurting other's sentiments/doing anything without any accountability. Freedom of speech blended with common sense and accountability is the perfect cocktail.

Cycling

2009-01-21T23:35:00.001+05:30

Cycling is my hobby. And for a good reason. Cycling is the only activity that I can remain engaged in for two hours without getting exhausted or feeling bored.

I learned the art of cycling when I was about 10 years old. It was by no means achieved easily, though. Around 15 being-off-kilter-and-falling-off-the-bicycle, 12 ramming-into-neighbour's-Maruti-800 and 20 skidding-and-falling-while-taking-an-illegal-U-turn resulted in 37 cuts, 23 bruises and 2 stitches. The pain was worth it. One day I woke up feeling great and suddenly discovered to my astonishment that I had the confidence to ride my bike to any nook-and-corner of this damn city without gettting involved in an accident. I knew how to ride a bike.

Recently, I've got myself another one of those "lean mean bastards" [:-)], primarily because I'm bigger now than I was 12 years ago. The pleasure and excitement that accompanies cycling, however, hasn't diminished one bit. The joy of rapidly moving ahead is immense. You know you are free to go anywhere, and neither you've to take the ramshackle bus nor you've to hop into the claustrophobic inside of one of those kaata-tel powered ( and hence immensely polluting ) autorickshaws that bludgeon their way through the overcrowded Kolkata streets. You wont get bored while stuck in a traffic jam. You just decide where to go, and off you go. That gives you a feeling of being independent.

I always prefer cycling over running. I'm the type of guy whom you may sometimes find drooping down, hands on my knees, inhaling 10,000 shots of air a minute, the hanging tongue receiving droplets of saline sweat steadily streaming down my forehead. All of this because I've just finished running 1 kilometre non-stop. Yet, you give me a bike and then watch me go. 25 Km is pretty much no-problem stuff. The primary reason for this is that while cycling if I'm out of breath I can coast for some time to bring my breath back. Also, running is more-or-less at a constant speed throughout, while cycling enables a much larger variation in speed. So there you go, covering 25 Km is much more fun than running a kilometre down the road which you take everyday en-route to university. Off I go now, pedalling hard, eyes firmly on the road ahead !

The subprime crisis

2009-01-21T21:29:00.001+05:30

Generations of Indians, not to mention people of other nations, have been fascinated by the American way of life. The American mantra for livelihood is Khayo, Piyo, Jiyo or put another way, consume, consume more and then consume even more. Guess what it led to.

Consider three things:
i) The Americans in general were not earning enough to satiate their enormous appetite for consumption.
ii) The U.S. Government encourages home ownership. Suppose a house costs $50,000 but you can afford $40,000 only. So you take out a loan of $10,000 from the bank. The bank charges a rate of interest and you pay EMIs.
iii) The housing market was booming; in other words if your house is worth $50,000 today, 365 days later it would be worth $55,000. So you can buy a house today, sell it off a year later when the price has increased, and pocket the difference. You would make a profit. But what if you currently have $40,000 in your pocket right now ? You go to a bank and take out a loan. A year later, you pay the bank the principal amount and $2000 as interest. You have the remaining $3000 to yourself. The principle here is that slightly less profit is better than no profit. Also, you can take out a mortgage on the house you are living in, i.e. the bank gives you a loan with your house as collateral. Since the price of your house would go on increasing year after year, there shouldn't be any problem.

So if you are an American as described in (i), chances are that you'd find the scheme outlined in (iii) pretty attractive.

Consumption in itself is bad. Now if you have added 'greed' to it, the result would be a deadly concoction that would eventually take down the world economy and result in millions of job losses.

Here's how the greed factor comes in: You are eyeing a house worth $50,000 due to reason(s) (ii) or (iii) or both. Normally you have to make a down payment which would be around 10% of the value of the asset (the house). Your bank balance is $2000 only and you have a poor credit history; in other words in the past you have defaulted on your credit card payments. Common sense would tell you to stop dreaming about the house, right ? Not so in the U.S.A. The bank would give you a loan, and would charge a very high rate of interest without even bothering to think whether you are capable of paying back the amount. This is known as subprime lending. The bank thinks that since they have your house as collateral, and since the price of the house would continue going northward for the next ten thousand years or so, they are safe. Also, they are going to sell these loans to investors and financial institutions (like Lehmann, AIG, ML) and make even more money. You are greedy because you want a house which you shouldn't have. The bank is greedy because it wants money no matter what.

It is evident that the schemes described in (ii) and (iii) would work only if the housing market continues to boom. It went bust. The primary reason for this was that a lot of people defaulted on their monthly installments. As more and more people defaulted, the house prices started going southward. This was the early signal for, to put it mildly, a catastrophe. The assets that the banks 'banked' upon, while giving out loans, were now worth peanuts. The big financial institutions found themselves not sitting on huge piles of wealth but on a mountain of worthless 'toxic' assets. Thus began the process that would ultimately result in the demise of the iconic American financial institutions which were known as the symbols of capitalism.

Ghajini

2008-12-27T18:29:00.003+05:30

Spare me the torture. Please.

Aamir Khan is branded as a "thinking man's actor". After Ghajini, people should seriously 'think' about the viability of this epithet.

Yes, I had to go through the three-hour ordeal called 'Ghajini' sometime back; took a long time to recover from the aftershocks that such an ordeal entails. And add to that I'd to pay 50 bucks to voluntarily go through all this.

The movie was about....well....I really don't know what it was all about. The storyline was very Bollywoodish: handsome rich guy meets beautiful not-so-rich girl, one song squeezed in, a brief period of romance ensues, three songs happen, one of which is a chartbuster, then some tragedy happens (an item number also happens amidst all this) and ultimately the hero, i.e. the rich guy is vindicated when he beats up around fifty people in two and a half minutes and the formidable main villain after a long slog lasting around fifteen minutes. Of course, at the very end we have as dessert some hackneyed Bollywoodish 'sentu' thus drawing the curtains on a very 'happening' Bollywood movie.

So imagine my bemusement when the newspaper tells me that Ghajini is "one of the biggest (s)hits of the year" and, oh-my-God, "one of the biggest box office grossers in the history of Bollywood" !

Two very important conclusions can be made here:
i) Most people like these feel good movies. Why ? Because no matter who they are and what they do, deep down inside they have this desire to banish the evil and do good in general. Hence, when they see someone on screen doing just that, they immediately connect with their secret desires, which manifests as them liking the movie. They desperately want those visuals to turn into the visuals of their lives.

ii) Why do people crave for happy endings and cheer when the good guy kicks the living daylights out of the bad guy ? I mean, this isn't real, this is happening on screen, this is a set-up, a camera is merely capturing a deliberately planned sequence of events and hence there is actually no "righting the wrong" stuff being done. Everyone knows this, still people are euphoric when they see these feel-good stories on screen. One reason could be the point put forward in the previous paragraph. Another reason could be that people are gullible to some extent, and that aspect sometimes comes forth. As soon as the lights inside the theatre are turned off, somehow people are transported inside the movie screen. They see things happening in front of their eyes as if they were happening in their real life, when they are standing on the ground under the blue sky. Hence, what the movie screen tells them seems to be the truth to them.

All hail the Cricket God !!

2008-12-17T16:35:00.001+05:30

If God decides to become a cricketer, He'd want to be like Tendulkar. I'm sure He'd be nearly as good as Tendulkar, but certainly not as good.

28,835 runs and 83 centuries in international cricket (!). And counting. Truly Tendulkarsque figures, these are. And let's not forget the number of matches he has won single-handedly for India. But the thing that I find God-like about Tendulkar is not only the number of runs he has scored but also the way he has gone about his business on the cricket field and off it. This man has his head amongst the stars and his feet firmly on the ground. He has been India's premier batsman in the international cricketing area for 19 years. Yet his will to win and the utmost humility with which he plays the game remains the same even today. Unlike his fellow-geniuses of the modern era, viz. Shane Warne, Brian Lara, Wasim Akram and Ricky Ponting, Tendulkar has miraculuosly managed to remain insulated from controversies throughout his career. He has managed the impossible feat of being the leading (some would say the best) batsman of his generation and at the same time securing the goodwill of one and all. I mean an achiever of Tendulkar's calibre is likely to have a few jealous detractors, but none as far as Tendulkar is concerned. It's more a tribute to his character as a human being than anything else. He is a role model for anyone who decides to pick up a cricket bat (probably even God). They say cricket is a gentleman's game. Sachin Tendulkar, who plays for India, is the ulimate gentleman.

The Left front, me the dog and Amartya Sen

2008-09-30T00:30:00.002+05:30

I'm a dog (now don't give me that I-knew-it-all-along look) and I'm very very hungry. I'm looking for a bone to chew. If I don't get one, I would eventually starve to death.

There were a few men who were playing a game. They had to make me run after them for as long as they possibly could. The person who could make me run for the longest distance would win a prize of 7000 crore rupees. The event was being sponsored by Ramalinga Raju.

So it began. They individually approached me. Some of the men tried to coax me into running, but lazy that I'm, I refused to lift a ear. Some of them promised me gifts and treats, but I didn't budge. One person proposed a 50-50 split of the prize money, but I could clearly make out that he was fibbing. Others tried to bully me, but their brazen attitude only succeeded in attracting a few menacing snarls. Nobody seemed to understand that I was desperately hungry and I needed something to satisfy my hunger. Then, out of the blue, along came this person. One look at him, and I knew that he was different. He seemed to be an intellectual, a very mild mannered and reasonable person with genuine concern for everyone. From his backpocket, he pulled out a really juicy piece of meat bone and dangled it enticingly above my head. I couldn't believe my eyes; I had something to hope for at last. He offered me a deal. He said that he was going to run with the bone in his hand. If I could catch him, the bone would be mine. This was an offer I couldn't refuse. Deal sealed, he said. He started to run, me in hot pursuit, tongue hanging in anticipation. It was only a matter of time before I caught him, I thought, and then I would have the bone all to myself. There was something, however, that he didn't tell me. It was that regardless of my speed, he could always match it. So that I could never really catch him no matter how fast I ran. I, ignorant of this fact, followed him obediently. When he turned right, I turned right, when he veered to the left, I did the same. This went on, on and on. I didn't stop because this person seemed to be a Messiah, my only hope; only he could give me what I wanted. He,of course, didn't want to stop because he wanted to ensure that only he pocketed the lucrative prize. We're still running, even to this day. Nowadays however, we only run in circles.

Nobel laureate Amartya Sen has recently said that he was disappointed with the Left Parties, after they withdrew support to the UPA. “I wouldn’t have regarded this to be as important as it has been made out to be", he said of the deal, "I wouldn’t have thought it is a life and death issue. I would not have thought it is a reason for pulling a government down." He then went on to add: "I really expect the Left to have a bigger role than it has had in keeping an eye on the prize, which is to remove the massive deprivation of the poorest in India.”
It seems that the Left wants some part of the population (specifically, their vote bank) to remain in a state of deprivation. If there isn't a hungry dog, no dog is going to run after the illusive bone which they are offering.

A passing thought

2008-09-27T11:09:00.001+05:30

Imagine, you have invented a time machine. One fine morning, you hop inside your marvelous machine, hit the ignition button and zoom into the past. You arrive in Rome as it were in 50 B.C. and decide to take a look around. Don't know how the ancient Romans would react seeing your spooky gadget (the time machine) or how they would interpret your clothes and mannerisms; but let's not bother about that. You've heard that the Colosseum is the most happening place in town and so you buy a ticket and go inside.

The Colosseum was basically a sporting arena. It was the place where gladiators, hardened criminals and wild beasts used to impose upon each other in general, and this was a form of sport/game. Most of the casualties were human beings, primarily because hungry lions, who were trained to develop a special affinity toward human flesh, were slightly difficult to overpower. Bloodshed, torture and gore were the USPs of this sport. All of this happened while the Roman Emperor along with the mandarins relaxed in the special VIP enclosure and thousands of Roman citizens inside the Colosseum screamed for more violence and bloody deaths. It was a part of their culture and all of them were proud of it.

If you were to witness this kind of an event today, you would be horrified, terrified and what not. You would think that people who set up this kind of an activity should get capital punishment immediately. Obviously, there is a lot of difference between your value system and that of a Roman of 50 B.C. With time everything changes, so values and ideals should change too. Therefore, 1000 years hence, people would have a value system which would be radically different from that of ours. Probably they would read about us in their history books and would snicker at our insensitive and illogical way of doing certain things. So what are some of our deeds/thought processes that they would find particularly obnoxious ? I think these two (among others) :

i) Our drive for "success (alternatives can be wealth, power,love) at any cost". The American financial institutions wanted to make money at any cost. So did Ramalinga Raju. China wants to gain control of Tibet at any cost and a certain political party wants to go on an industrialization drive at any cost. The cost of human life being too little, it doesn't figure in their calculations. Nations want their economies to grow at a breakneck speed at any cost, hence they don't think twice before wiping out forests, exhausting the earth's natural resources, polluting the atmosphere and displacing helpless people from their homes.

ii) Our insatiable thirst for revenge. Al Qaeda takes out the twin towers, in reply U.S.A. destroys two nations (Afghanistan and Iraq) and prepares to destroy a third (Pakistan). Hamas fires rockets into Israel, so the Israeli army goes into Gaza and mutilates an entire community. Georgia irks Russia so the Russians must send heavily armoured tanks into Georgia and start shelling unarmed civilians (who else). The LTTE and the Sri Lankan army must kill each other. The Myanmar junta can't stand protests, so the only option is to beat the recalcitrant monks within an inch of their lives. Although a sagely Gujarati once tried to explain that "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind", nobody listened.

My days are numbe(re)d

2008-08-15T20:12:00.001+05:30

Don't grab
Don't clutch
Don't hope for too much
Don't breathe
Don't achieve
Or grieve without leave

Don't travel by train
Don't eat
Don't spill
Don't piss in the drain
Don't make a will

I feel numb

These lines are U2 creations.
These lines aptly describe my current mental condition.
I feel numb.
I'm tired of 'educating' myself. Or mugging my way to insanity. Or not getting marks from marksists ( pun intended ).
Politicians and pseudo-intellectuals, please stop being educators. Have mercy on us. Please. Would someone have the sanity to hand over the arduous task of reforming our education system to a few erudite professors ?
Or maybe it's not the system. It's just me; rather the demotivated, jaded haggard ( who's a born loser, by the way ) inside me. I don't know. I know I'm not making much sense. But then, you have to understand. I feel numb.

P.S. :Smoking is like Marxism. You must indulge in it in your youth, but you'd be foolish not to grow out of it. (Erratica, TOI 14/9)

Azadi.....

2008-08-15T16:57:00.001+05:30

It's 15th August, 2008. Independence day. India is 61 years young today. It's her birthday.
I've been wondering what 'freedom' means to me. Here's my honest attempt; let's see how it turns out.

Freedom, to me, has a somewhat 'individualistic' connotation. I'm a free-spirit, I have no religion, no caste; I don't believe in the concept of worshipping God; I have my own set of beliefs and principles and I live life on my own terms. In other words, I am a liberated soul. I have freedom of choice; I decide what I'm going to do with my life. Nobody stops me from dreaming and nobody stops me from working towards making those dreams a reality. No vested interests educate me, on the other hand the world in which I live does so. I live in a democracy where I have the right to choose the Government. And all of this happens while I do not interfere with another person's freedom. That's freedom to me, freedom of the mind, body and spirit. And I live in a country that allows me all that. Jai Hind !!

A country on its knees

2008-07-24T14:02:00.001+05:30

The picture depicts 3 BJP MPs waving a wad of currency (1 crore rupees, to be precise) in Parliament and in the process making India go down on her knees.

MPs for sale. Rupees 3 crore only (per head).

3 BJP MPs were allegedly offered a total of 9 crore rupees to abstain from the crucial trust vote in Parliament on July 22nd, 2008.
Advance: Rs. 1 crore.
After 'job-done': Rs. 8 crore.

9 crore rupees.

The Lok Sabha has 545 MPs. If you have 273 MPs on your side, you've got a majority. Now how much would that cost you ? Lemme do the math and find out. Total cost incurred to buy India = 273 MPs * Rs. 3 crore per MP = Rs. 819 crores. Taking 1 dollar = 42.05 rupees, as per the current exchange rates, the total cost works out to be 195 million dollars (approximately).

Tata Steel acquired Corus for 7600 million dollars.

Arcelor Mittal (the largest steel company in the world) had a market capitalization of 144370 million dollars on May 17, 2008 (source: Wikipedia).

Warren Buffet is worth 62000 million dollars; hence he's the richest man in the world (as of now).

The figures tell you something.
They tell you that buying a country is not that difficult after all ;-P
They also tell you that India is cheaper than Corus.

The picture depicts a child.
He's a child who is malnourished, hungry and doesn't go to school.
So what should we do ? Should we bother about him ?
Of course not. He's not one of us. He even has a nationality which is different from that of ours. We are Indians. In our country, we have swanky shopping malls, highways, delectable cuisines, how-to-be-spiritual by Deepak Chopra, green-cards, brand-name universities, 9% growth, happy people.
The child. He lives in Bharat (another country). That shoddy, dark, dusty breeding space for diseases. Bharat-ians live on less than 1 dollar a day (at least most of them do). No clean drinking water, no food, no sanitation, no roof to guard from the torrential rain and the blazing heat of the sun. Only mind-numbing poverty. And this kind of people can do without roads, schools, hospitals and other fashionable amenities. Serves them right, those un-intelligent un-educated dirty scoundrels.

There's nothing wrong with Indian MPs flashing 1 crore rupees in Parliament (like the great Tendulkar who raises his bat after scoring another spectacular hundred). Corruption is a way of life in India.

With 9 crore rupees, how many underprivileged children can be sent to school ? How many underprivileged children can be nourished with healthy food and clean drinking water ? How many farmer suicides can be prevented ? How many families living below the poverty line can start to hope (!) again ? Tough Questions.

Someone may ask the question,"From where did the money come from ?"
The answer is simple. Looting Bharat.

My Mahatma Gandhi moment :-p

2008-07-13T17:20:00.001+05:30

There are some things which you know shouldn't be done; but sometimes, maybe in the heat of the moment or due to a rush of blood to the head, you do them. Today, I'm ashamed to say, I did something like that. The venue was National High School, the protocol - IMS simcat number 3. The attitude of the test takers in my room suggested that whenever one sits for a simcat, it's one's inherent right to talk (loudly) during the examination. Probably it doesn't occur to most of the test takers that there may be some people who are really slugging it out, all by themselves, and that these kind of aliens may be sitting in the SAME room as them. Obviously, these aliens/freaks/maniacs, (whichever way you put it) who are taking the mock test quite seriously and trying hard to concentrate (now how can that be the right thing to do ?), can do with some silence. Add to that a hapless invigilator who thinks that it is more important to entertain himself by listening to his favourite numbers on his funky mobile phone than....err....invigilating (isn't that his job ??). He made no effort to cut out the continuous humming noise that was proving to be very distracting. This encouraged the people who had started talking from the very first minute of the commencement of the examination. Naturally, they showed no signs of relenting. There were people in the first bench, right under the invigilator's nose, talking, discussing, smiling, snickering, gasping and doing God-knows-what. Everything was okay with our friendly invigilator.

For two hours I tried hard to concentrate, occasionally placed my palms over my ears, told myself things like "adversities-come-tough-people-overcome-them". It was difficult, very difficult, but I was hanging on. Then it happened. For some unknown reason, the invigilator went out out of the room (probably he had more important business to attend to outside). The pandemonium that started, after his departure, lasted for a full 3 minutes. At that time I had been tending to the English section, my weak-link. For a full 3 minutes, I could do nothing but stare blankly at the blackboard. I could feel the rage building up inside me, slowly but surely. I was quite serious about taking this simcat. I had meticulously planned how I'm going to tackle this exam. All had gone haywire now, due to the irresponsible joker who had been asked to invigilate in my room. I won't blame the loquacious examinees ( for most of them, a simcat is all about getting good marks so that later they can show off to their friends - " Look! I got a 90+ percentile" which would mean that he/she is very intelligent and people should show more respect towards them. This is not the purpose of a MOCK test).

For 3 minutes, I felt like I was sitting in a packed Eden Gardens, and Ganguly was coming out to bat ( if you slightly exaggerated the noise level that prevailed in that room, it would come to that ). Then, he entered ( the joker, i mean ), wearing a beatific smile on his face. My fuse blew. I couldn't take it anymore. Purple with rage, my ears blowing out steam, my eyes almost popping out of their sockets, and wearing the most vicious expression I was capable of, I shouted, " Isn't it your duty to maintain silence in an examination hall ? Don't you think there's too much talking going on right now ? Humlog yaha mazaak karne ke liye aye hai kya ?? ". A few suppressed laughters were heard, but mostly, everyone in the room ( including me ) were stunned by this out-of-the-blue tirade . The person at the receiving end didn't reply, but thereafter he made a conscious effort to maintain some peace for the remaining 30 minutes. Maybe he'd realized his mistake or maybe he was stunned. I don't know. What I do know is that I had gone over the top. That was rude, very much so; I couldn't remember anytime in my life when I'd been worse. That was the worst of me. Shouting at other people, behaving rudely, being confrontational doesn't serve any purpose whatsoever. All it did was to leave a bad taste in my mouth. I was left feeling bad for the rest of the day. Okay, it is justified to be angry at what had transpired in that examination hall over the 2 hours. It is also justified to have a few stern words with the invigilator because clearly, he was being irresponsible. But there is a proper manner to do it, more so because I'd like to think of myself as an educated person with some manners. My idea was right, my execution was horribly wrong.
As usual, I managed to mess up the examination too, so that didn't help. My day was ruined. I had made a fool of myself.

On face value, this action of rude behaviour seems to make miserable, to various extents for different persons, the life of the person at the receiving end. The big picture, however, suggests something quite contrary to this. When you are rude to other people, you are actually being rude to YOURSELF. You are making your own life miserable. The other person has the advantage of avoiding you in the future, thus ensuring no such unwarranted brickbats from you. Or it may happen that the person doesn't come across you ever again. But how can you avoid yourself ? You cannot run away from yourself, your conscience.

Obviously, the lesson learnt : don't be rude to people. Baapu tussi great ho !! :-)

Random musings

2008-02-23T13:06:00.000+05:30

There are some creeps who would feign friendship with you, only for some personal benefits. Of the several things that you might dislike about these narrow-minded crocodiles, one thing could be that there's a dichotomy between what they say and what they actually believe in deep down inside. On one hand, they appreciate everything that can be broadly classified as 'good'; tell them this: "I'm aiming for this target. I think I'm doing an excellent job, I'm right on track, and I'm going to achieve what I've aimed for unless a major accident happens. What do you think about it ?". The response would be something like this - "Oh! Really ? I'm so happy for you.....dude you are an inspiration to all good-for-nothings like us. Wish you all the very best !". As if being a role-model for good-for-nothings is the ultimate ambition in one's life. Whereas, the person who feigns ecstasy, actually would think something like this - "Darn that slimy old millipede. That creep doesn't deserve what he's getting. Now is there a way I can throw this guy off-track ?". If the answer is yes, then subtle ( and sometimes in-your-face ) efforts would be made to do just that. If the answer is no, then one way of giving vent to frustration/jealousy would be to indulge in silly banter with like minded people, the topic being that slimy old millipede. Whenever the millipede, crawling about his menial job, comes across these well-wishers, he has to withstand astringent verbal volleys. Which can be quite disconcerting at times.

The Warrior of Kolkata

2008-01-02T21:02:00.001+05:30

Warrior of Kolkata ? Some people may find it blasphemous. And for good reasons. Intellectuals, romantics, Bangalis are (in)famous for their indolent, accommodating, risk-free way of living; traits which you usually do not associate with a warrior-like person. The "City of Palaces" has its very own prince, the "Prince of Kolkata", Sourav Ganguly, the very person whom I intend to refer to as the warrior of Kolkata. It is indeed an enigma, therefore, that the belligerent former captain of the Indian cricket team has his roots here, in Kolkata.

Ganguly, popularly nicknamed "Dada" (it would mean "elder-brother" in Bangla) burst onto the international cricketing arena making his Test debut against England at the prestigious Lord's cricket ground in 1996. Two test matches and two centuries later, he'd cemented his place in the Indian cricket squad and hasn't looked back ever since. However, Ganguly had already made his international debut in a one day international (ODI) against West Indies way back in 1992, but that is a chapter mired with controversy that all Dada fans and probably the man himself would like to forget. Cut to 2008, Ganguly is in the twilight of his career with one or atmost two years of cricket left in him. He's certainly not fit for the twenty-20 version, not at his age, and has already been unceremoniously sacked from the one-day side to make way for youngsters. Test match is the only form of cricket that he's playing right now. So the question arises - where would Ganguly's place be in the hall-of-fame of Indian cricket ?

Any sort of analysis of Ganguly's career has to start off with his captaincy. Although he's won many a battle for India with the bat,and he's undoubtedly the best left handed batsman India has ever produced, in this article I intend to focus solely on his legacy as a captain. Ganguly was made captain of the Indian cricket team in the year 2000 after the match-fixing scandal broke out. He captained the side till September 2005 when he was dropped from the one-day side and Rahul Dravid took over the reins. The statistically inclined may sum up Ganguly's captaincy career considering his win-loss ratio and tournament wins. This approach, however, would not provide us with a holistic picture, if any. To critically assess his contribution as captain we have to go beyond dry statistics. Ganguly is, undoubtedly, the greatest ever cricket captain of India. Ok, Kapil's devils won the world cup in 1983( ODI format), (which is, by the way, the only instance of India winning the quadrennial tournament) but Ganguly scores over the 'Haryana Hurricane' due to reasons I'm coming to just in a moment. Not to mention we've had a few very good cricket captains over the years and of course I don't mean to disparage their contributions. MS Dhoni gave us the twenty-20 world cup, but he has miles to go still; and he's not yet our Test-match captain.

Ganguly is aggressive, bold, in-your-face and not afraid to take risks (everything that the average Bangali is not - quite interesting). He wears his heart on his sleeve. On the field he's no-nonsense, improvising, right-on-the-money. Even the Aussies who are the undisputed bullies of the cricketing world, often found Ganguly's bellicose attitude too-hot-to-handle; because Ganguly was not afraid to pay back in their own coin. He had the audacity to make Steve Waugh wait at the toss, and thus get under the skin of the ice-cool person who transformed sledging into an art-form and branded it as 'mental disintegration'. He solely deserves the credit for instilling the killer-instinct in a bunch of hopelessly gentile magnanimous losers. This is perhaps the greatest contribution of Ganguly towards Indian cricket; he forever changed the casual attitude of an average Indian cricketer towards the game. Nowadays Indians play to win the match; they can stand up to any challenge, take bold risks and are not intimidated by the reputation of the opponent. For this reason only Ganguly's reign at the helm is a watershed in the history of Indian cricket. And the results are showing - we reached the final of the 2003 edition of the cricket world cup, won the twenty-20 world cup, and most important of all we are winning test matches abroad in hostile conditions that prevail in countries like Australia and South Africa. This was unthinkable only a decade ago. Although Ganguly was ousted from the post of captaincy three years ago, his good work is still yielding fruits. The players who are presently the pillars of the national squad, guys like Yuvraj, Dhoni, Sehwag, Zaheer, Harbhajan and Pathan, among others, blossomed during Ganguly's tenure as captain. That speaks volumes of the man's foresight. How he, as captain, rallied behind Yuvraj Singh provides a case in point. The gifted southpaw, Yuvraj, was highly inconsistent at the start of his career. That obviously didn't go down too well with the myopic selectors who were hell-bent on dropping him in the name of giving other promising youngsters a chance. But for Ganguly, who was adamant about retaining the youngster, Yuvraj's career may would have met with a premature end. Today we all know what Yuvraj Singh is all about. He had complete faith in his players and backed them to the hilt. Ganguly's tenure as captain, however, had its share of controversies. Which is hardly surprising, considering the chaotic and often mindboggling manner in which the cricketing affairs are conducted in India. In the end , however, what remains is the fact that Ganguly is the best captain we've ever had till date. He's a leader in the true sense of the word. And more importantly, he's the man who forever changed the face of Indian cricket.

Writing ain't easy

2007-12-31T01:30:00.000+05:30

The very first article was posted (by me) on this blog sometime in mid-August. Three full pieces (and another one under construction) later, I'm gasping for air. Oh God ! Writing is easy or so I used to think at one point in time. Quite the contrary. I've always prided myself on a good reading habit ; so as I would go through the pages of some writing I would tell myself -This is easy. All you have to do is to have an idea or an opinion (or both) and then put it into words. Now all I have to do is to work on my vocabulary. A strong vocabulary would mean I'd be able to throw in a few high sounding words here and there. That would make my writing heady. People (not all but some) would think that I'm better at English than they are; hence they would want to accept my views. (I'd request the reader not to take offence at what I just said because I've known people for whom being good at English is a prestige issue; at least I'd have them listening to my ideas; it is better than having no one at all :-).
A little bit of practice, and I'd be in the league of those Sunday Times columnists. No big deal really. Maybe I'm going to write a book one day. Maybe not just one, maybe two or three. Four maybe ? If luck favours, one of them may be nominated for the Booker Prize. Uh well, winning the prize is not something I'm going to do, I'm not that good. So many gargantuan castles painstakingly built in the air, and how much time did it take for all of them to come crashing down ? In retrospect, I'm thinking I needed treatment for an acute case of megalomania. Hell, writing is one of the most arduous tasks that I've ever set myself to do. The problems that I encounter are plenty. One of the major ones is that often I've no idea about what on earth I'm writing. As my fingers seamlessly go on caressing the keys of my i-ball keyboard, my mind drifts. I dare not look up at the monitor. I'm scared. My brain tells me I can't write, but my heart thinks otherwise. And the proof is right in front of my eyes, my writing is gruesome, I just need to look up and into the monitor. Which I won't do. I don't want the harsh reality to hit me. So I keep my head down and continue hitting the keys.
Spelling mistake would have been a behemoth of a problem, unless a few smart people somewhere didn't have the idea of starting an online dictionary (which wouldn't have made them smart in the first place...see how I'm drifting ?). Another behemoth of a problem is grammatical errors, and I still haven't found what I'm looking for (a la U2); i.e. an online grammar book. Last but not the least (actually the problem that plagues me the most) is that often I get stuck; I've an idea or an image in my mind but I can't put it into words. Like I had this image of a bespectacled me looking down, hunched over my keyboard pegging (is that the right word ?) away at the keys; but the words wouldn't just come to me.
Is there any way to improve upon this situation ? The human brain is a wonderland in itself, where small chunks of idea are floating about, randomly, until a collision leads to coalescing of a few chunks thereby giving rise to a bigger idea. Communication is a process by which ideas and opinions lurking in various corners of the human brain are brought out in the open. Make a few people possessing excellent communication skill set sit together, and you may have a plan or strategy. Writing is a very important form of communication, hence it is a shame not to be able to write well.
So here's an idea. Not a scientific approach, but no doubt it's innovative. I don't know how things are going to turn out; but I'm going to give it a go anyway. First I'm going to select a topic. Then I'm going to write down whatever arbitrary sentences (or portions thereof) that come to my mind. In no particular order. Any sentence pertaining to the topic that I think of, I'm going to put it down. I'm going to let my imagination run wild. It doesn't matter if the first sentence that I write down ultimately becomes the forty-third sentence (Gosh, I'm not sure whether I can manage that many sentences) of the finished article (quite literally); and my fourth sentence ultimately becomes the opening line. (Well you may be wondering where would the second and third sentences of my manuscript would go; well....they'd be deleted). After I've enough raw material, the processing unit is going to take over. I'd see how or whether I can pick out some sentences and connect them into a coherent paragraph. Connecting a few such meaningful paragraphs together would in turn, I hope, constitute a (meaningful) article. I think this approach is a lot more quicker that spending forty five minutes for the opening sentence and then proceeding sequentially. I think I need to try out this technique as soon as possible. Maybe I'd have an article by this technique. I think I have one.

Taare Zameen Par

2007-12-27T19:44:00.000+05:30

The stars are on earth (Taare Zameen Par), people are queuing up for tickets, the critics are heaping praise on debutant director Aamir Khan (who, incidentally, is also a co-producer and an actor in the movie), and most important of all aam-junta, people who matter the most, have given a thumbs up to the film. I happened to catch the fourth-day-first-show, if I may call it, at the local theatre. I saw people doing their second stint, and a few guys claimed it was their third. That tells you a story.
The story revolves around eight year old Ishaan Awasthi (played by Darsheel Safary). He is dyslexic, therefore he cannot master the english alphabet and is abysmal at math. His parents are, however, unaware of their child's learning disability and worse, they make no concerted effort to try to comprehend his difficulties. The resulting poor grades in school infuriate Mr. and Mrs. Awasthi who attribute the results to their son's intractable and obstinate nature. Part of the problem is that the egotist Mr. Awasthi cannot even think of the possibility that HIS son could have a disability of any kind. When Ishaan's art teacher Ram Shankar Nikumbh (played by Aamir Khan) tries to convince the little kid's parents that their child has a learning disability, Mr. Awasthi fumes incredulously. Ishaan's elder brother Yohaan is the quintessential 21st century Indian upper-middle class teenager - he's a focussed, hard-working, docile careerist- everything his younger brother is not. The other three members of the Awasthi family, however, love Ishaan and are deeply concerned about his future. At one point things get out of control. His parents decide that boarding school is the right cure for their fractious child, that he needs to learn a thing or two about discipline. Each teacher in this school is a martinet, and things look bleak for Ishaan who gets increasingly detached from his family. The story unfolds as Mr. Nikumbh discovers the potential in the little kid and provides him with guidance and encouragement. The movie ends with Ishaan resplendent in victory; finally getting the recognition he deserves for his magnificent talent; and a vindicated Nikumbh.
The scene where little Ishaan stands all alone inside the ominous, squalid boarding school or where he's shown in the middle of the night, out of his bed, thumping on the bathroom wall, crying for his mother, whilst his tearyeyed mother, brother and son are on their way home, is heart-wrenching. I heard a few snivels in the audience. A few people were trying hard to suppress their tears, but Shankar Mahadevan belting out 'Maa' in his rich, melodious voice didn't help matters. Kudos to Prasoon Joshi for the lyrics of this song in particular, not to mention the other five. It reminded me of my mother, and I'm sure that it did the same to quite a few others (I didn't have the tears, though). Shankar,Ehsaan and Loy have done a superb job (as usual ) with the soundtrack of the movie.
Issue-based films are a rarity in Bollywood, hence Aamir deserves an ovation for going beyond the usual song-and-dance bullshit ( like Fanaa) that Bollywood churns out all the time. The movie raises awareness about dyslexia, also blatantly points out how children are being robbed of their precious childhood by overzealous, tyrannical parents who want their little ones to excel in everything from studies to extra curriculars. Failure is not an option in a marks-based education system that needs urgent reforms.
While judging a movie, I take into account only one thing - my feelings and emotions just after watching the movie. I do not let the opinion of my friends and critic's reviews affect my judgement. Hence my ruling would be this - TZP is a good movie, but falls short of expectations. And my expectations were sky-high, simply because it was an out-and-out Aamir Khan movie. He directed, produced and acted in the movie. Considering his track-record, Aamir has the burden of expectation on his shoulders. That is one of the downsides of being so good in an industry plagued by mediocrity. Well, it would be harsh to say that Aamir didn't deliver, but I expected more. The plot has no twists and is hopelessly predictable. Midway through the movie, if you try to conjure up the storyline for the rest of the movie based on what you have seen already, you would be surprised at your accuracy. That abrades the fun part, because you know beforehand how things are going to shape up. The acting, barring that of Darsheel, is okayish. No power-packed performance from any of the actors - and the reason for this is that the storyline is too simple. TZP is not in the league of Rang de, not even Dil Chahta Hai or Lagaan, in the sense that it doesn't offer anything new or extraordinary. The social issues presented in the movie are not new; a lot of writing and discussions have taken place on how our education system is harsh on differentially abled children and needs to be revamped (although yielding no tangible results as of now). Rang De was a revolution; Dil chahta Hai became an attitude; Lagaan went to the Oscars. TZP would bag quite a few Filmfare Awards (the Oscars of Bollywood) this year, that's a guarantee, but I'm afraid that's where it is going to end.

Quotable "Quotes"

2007-08-18T15:25:00.000+05:30

I'm proud to present a selection of some of the famous quotes (usually by famous people; but some of them may be the not-so-famous) compiled by me. Maybe the sequential order in which the quotes appear could've been sorted, somewhat (which I didn't feel the need to do, the lazy pig that I'm). Nevertheless, all of them are quite thought provoking, and some of them may even change the way you think, if I may say so (there are some that certainly changed my perception of certain things; and if the same thing happens to you, do let me know through your comments). Ok, the preamble ends here.

i> "Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles" (Charlie Chaplin).

ii> "A friend should always underestimate your virtues and an enemy overestimate your faults" (Don Corleone, taken from the novel "The Godfather" by Mario Puzo)

iii> "Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invented the plane and the pessimist the parachute" (Gil Stern).

iv> "The nice part about being a pessimist is that you're constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised" (George Will).

v> "The biggest enemy of future success is past success" (picked up this one from an Azim Premji interview).

vi> "People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first" (David H. Comins)
(this is precisely the reason why I've made it a point to mention the source of every quote that I've put down here :-)

vii> "You'll never achieve 100% if 99% is okay" (Will Smith).

viii> "Whatever level you reach, getting better never stops" (Sachin Tendulkar, in the adidas advertisement).

ix> "There are low moments in every player's (read person's) career. That doesn't mean I'll lock myself in and brood" (Sourav Ganguly, in a times of india interview)

x> (this is the wittiest of the lot) "They say marriages are made in heaven, but so are thunder and lightning" (Clint Eastwood).

xi> "I'm always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it" (Pablo Picasso).

xii> "There is no greatness where there is no simplicity" (Leo Tolstoy).

xiii> "Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy" (Cynthia Nelms).

xiv> "Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're usually right" (Henry Ford).

xv> "Temptation usually comes in from a door that has been deliberately left open" ( Arnold Glasow).

xvi> "To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong" (Edward Gibbon).

xvii> (one of my favourites)"If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?" (Sydney J. Harris).

xviii> "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear" (Mark Twain).

xix> "To get profit without risk, experience without danger, and reward without work, is as impossible as it is to live without being born" (AP Gouthev).

xx> "It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed" (T. Roosevelt).

Well....the list ends here but I've a few more of these up my sleeve; and I'll keep my eyes and ears open (as I seldom do) so that I can pounce on any more quotable quotes (of good quality; and they also have to undergo the arduous task of trying to get my approval, or meeting with international standards....it's the same thing actually:-). As soon as I successfully compile another list, the first thing I'm going to do is post it here, so don't you guys worry :-)

What ails Indian sports?

2007-08-17T21:39:00.001+05:30

Being a sports buff that I'm, I felt the urgent necessity to put forward my views and opinions on this extensively debated topic. Embarking on this topic, the first question that springs up is- "Is Indian sports ailing?". And my answer to that would be a resounding 'yes'. Unless you are not an Indian and (quite rightfully) take no interest in the affairs of this country, or even if you are an Indian and still cultivate an equivalent amount of indifference towards the country (there are quite a few of them, millions actually), chances are that you'd agree with me. And the fact that our sports is seriously ailing is not the only frightening thing. Two other points are to be kept in mind:
i> Indian sports had been ailing since time immemorial, i.e. history suggests we were never good as a sporting nation. Which tells us that this ill-health of our sports is not a transient phenomena or a passing phase, rather this has been the trend forever. Indian sports was born in the ICU, in critical condition, and has remained there ever since; which brings me to my next point-
ii> the future doesn't look too rosy either. There is little evidence to suggest that we're going to be a formidable sporting nation in the near future.
Now I'd request you to shift your focus briefly to the other sectors in this country. The Indian economy is booming, and going by the barrage of different views, opinions and ideas put forward by an army of experts (or so they claim themselves to be), there is reason to believe that this economic boom can be sustained for at least some more time in the future. Progress is all too blatant wherever we look (well.......almost wherever we look....and that too preferably in an urban area......but I guess I shouldn't digress from the topic). In the education sector, the IITs, the IIMs and other leading educational institutions in the country are churning out world-class professionals-to-be, most of whom are taking up important positions in the leading organizations of the world. A feel-good factor is no-doubt prevailing in this country.
So it is quite intriguing as well as enigmatic to note that although progress (of varying degree) is happening in most of the sectors of this country, Indian sports does not suffer from any such symptom. It continues to be static, as it had been since time immemorial. Anyone trying to do some research on Indian sports would be, no-doubt, flabbergasted. Well I, in my own little way, have tried to dig up some reasons behind this immobility of our sports which is, also, quite disconcerting to me as it is to other sports enthusiasts. I'd have them keyed in one after the other.......

I welcome myself to the blogosphere!!!!!!

2007-08-17T21:37:00.000+05:30

A couple of years ago, a friend of mine introduced me to blogging. And the concept instantly clicked with me. I thought it was quite a cool thing to do; creating my very own ridiculously minuscule space in this vast....well.....space namely- the world wide web. Just imagining the various things i could do with my blog set my mind spinning. In my blog I can post absolutely anything under the sun and i mean ANYTHING; from raunchy pics of playboy models to hardcore articles(preferably written by me) on the ways to counter global warming. And so here I am, churning out the very first post of my brand new 'blog'. And if you are somewhat intelligent,(obviously which u aren't otherwise you wouldn't have stumbled upon this blog when there are many trillions of other blogs to choose from :-) you may have realized that the time lag between planning and execution of the idea(of creating my own blog) is (just)around two years. Well....if you are reading this and you don't know me, you'd get a fair idea about the kind of person I'm from the previous sentence:-)